Cyber Prayer

Lovescope

LEISURE

Sayang ang limang minuto

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren’t there at the time you really need them, chances are… you won’t be needing them again. [Baby Chinito]

Muli, ang pakiusap namin sa mga mambabasa… HUWAG PO NINYONG SERYOSOHIN ang mga kabulastugang natitipon sa pitak na ito. Jokes lang po, walang personalan.

***

Trillanes and his group has again shown their insensitivity to the concern of the majority!

They think that making this move will earn sympathy from the masses.

Huwag nating hayaang guluhin nila ang parating na Karangyaan at ilaw ng Kapaskuhan!

I-focus natin ang ating sarili sa mga mas importanteng mga isyu sa lipunan!

Magsama-sama tayong pigilin ang laban ni Lolit Solis sa tambalang Piolo Pascual-Sam Milby!

Mabuhay ka, Pilipino!

Please pass… [Baby Chinito]

***

TONY: Sayang! Limang minuto na lang sana, na-take over na ang Malacañang ng mga Magdalo!

JEFF: Bakit sayang ang limang minuto?

TONY: Kasi, limang minuto na lang sana… darating na ang taumbayan. Bigla namang sumuko ang mga Magdalo! [0919-251-8086]

***

TV REPORTER: Balita ko ay marami kayong dalang biyaya galing Spain, Congressman…

CONGRESSMAN: Totoo ‘yan! Naaawa ako sa aking mga constituent na local sardines ang kinakain araw-araw!

TV REPORTER: Eh ano po ang dala ninyo, Congressman?

CONGRESSMAN: Spanish sardines! [Pabs Rosas ng Angeles City]

***

Mahirap subukang magmahal ng textmate. ‘Yun tipong more than friends.

Bakit?

Baka kasi sa time na mahalin mo siya nang totoo, biglang sabihin niya…

"Cool off muna tayo! Expired na ang unlimited ko!" [Lee 23, 0915-580-3962]

***

Siksikan sa loob ng LRT…

LALAKI: Miss, sumasagi ‘yang ‘papaya’ mo sa akin.

BABAE: Eh ano ngayon? Mga ‘papaya’ ko naman ‘yan!

LALAKI: Mga ‘papaya’ mo nga pero baka bumulwak ‘yung dagta ng ‘saging’ ko! [Zhy]

***

LALAKI: Miss, kakagatin ko ang boobs mo, babayaran kita ng P10,000.

BABAE: Sige!

LALAKI: (dinilaan, sinipsip at nilamas ang boobs ng babae)

BABAE: Bakit hindi mo kinagat?

LALAKI: Wala akong pera, eh! [Baby Chinito]

***

MA’AM: Inday, bakit nandito sa kuwarto mo ang condom ni sir mo? Alam mo bang may kamahalan ‘yan dahil imported?

INDAY: No problem po, ma’am! Hindi naman namin ginamit ni sir ‘yan. Talaga pong isasauli ko ‘yan, ma’am! [Pabs Rosas]

***

MA’AM: Inday, bakit nasa banig mo ang brief ni sir mo? Siguro ay may ginawa kayong hindi maganda?

INDAY: Maganda po, ma’am, ang ginawa namin ni sir.

MA’AM: At bakit naging maganda, aber?

INDAY: Ahh… ehh… nabuntis po ako, ma’am! [Pabs Rosas]

***

Q: Why do women have boobs?

A: So you have something to look at while talking to them. [0927-251-1146]

***

"Real beauty is not based on physical features but in the HEART!"

Motto ‘yan ng mga pangit!

Here’s mine…

"With great looks comes great responsibility." [Junie, 0916-478-2516]

***

If you don’t want to fall in love to a person, don’t have sex with him/her…

Why?

Having sex releases feel-good hormone dopamine in excessive amount.

What’s worse, it also releases oxytocin, a hormone found to be responsible for being too attracted and attached to a person.

So, the more you have sex, the more you’ll fall in love to a person… and that’s a fact!

Want to steal someone’s partner? Have sex with him/her more often than his/her partner! [Baby Chinito]

***

Human brain is the most outstanding thing.

It functions 24 hours a day and 365 days a year.

It functions right from the time we were born and it only stops when we take exams. [Lee 23, 0915-580-3962]

***

Nakaaasar naman!

Kung kailan naka-alltext ako, walang nagte-text na kaibigan!

Buti pa si Buddy Balance, isang text ko lang, reply agad! [0920-564-8726]

***

FRED: Kumusta na ang matronang tinuturuan mo ng sayaw?

MARVIN: Ang galing niyang gumiling at marami siyang style na alam!

FRED: Ha?! Di ba, two nights mo pa lang siyang tinuturuan? Ang galing mo talagang dance instructor!

MARVIN: Ahh… ehh… magaling siyang gumiling at enjoy ako sa mga style niya sa… kama! [Pabs Rosas ng Angeles City]

***

It’s never the tears that measure the pain… sometimes, it’s the smile we fake just to show others we’re okay.

Pretending you’re okay is not easy. [Baby Chinito]

***

Kissing in the lips is great but be sure you never close your eyes and not too long or else, you’ll encounter a strange feeling called… libog. [Baby Chinito]

***

Past is experience. Presence is experiment. Future is expectation.

So, use your… Experience in your Experiment to meet your Expectation. [Zhy]

***

Technically, I’m single.

Emotionally, I’m completely taken.

Because in my heart I’ll always be his guy… even if he doesn’t want me… at all… [Baby Chinito]

***

SYMPTOMS of being certified SINGLE:

Mahilig kumain.

Sanay sa outings.

Tulog nang tulog.